Today, I’m going to ask you two questions.
What’s your favorite breakfast cereal? In the grand scheme of things, in the great expanding universe that is our ever-changing day-to-day lives, with all the war and peace, famine and hunger around the blue ball of a globe we call home, does it actually matter what anybody’s favorite breakfast cereal is?
Yesterday, I was avoiding doing my “real” work and decided to play on my computer. I blogged, I flickred, I went to all of those websites I always go to…yada yada. Then, I got bored, so I decided to “venture out” into the great unknown of the universe that is the intertubes. Now, I know, I know (probably better than most) that it’s a big, bad world out there and you have to be careful, least you google your eye out, or some such thing, but I took my chances with the great all knowing search engine. Venture out I did. I went to this “celebrity” website. It was one of those forum type websites and also several “fan sites” that had merged into one.
Wow. What can I say? Who knew that there were so many obsessed people in the world? All this time I thought that my obsession with Top Gear and Doctor Who was bad. Geesh. There are some people out there that really need to get a life. (Or, you know, maybe they have a life and they need to trade it in on a better one somehow.)
I’m not making this up. I found myself in some kind of a forum “devoted” to the celebrity in question (who shall remain nameless-hey, I don’t want to attract that kind of a crowd here-those people scare me!) They were discussing everything about the celebrity-what shoes he wore, what brand of eyeglasses he preferred, what he ate for breakfast.
“Oh, I think he likes Corn Flakes,” one woman posted.
“YOU IDIOT! He eats only the finest in Honey-flavored Shredded Wheat,” another replied.
And then the fight broke out. It was amazing. It was astounding. It was nothing like I had ever seen before. Wow. Who knew there were throngs of people out there quarreling and bickering about what a particular celebrity had for breakfast? That’s so shallow I find it literally amazing. I cannot believe I actually read that-on the Internet of all places. I mean, I know the Internet is filled with useless facts and fictions but, by God, that raises “useless information” to new heights. That’s just more “information I could stand to live without” than I can even fathom.
Since I’ve been home a lot, and I’ll be home now through, pretty much, the end of the year, I decided to stock up on groceries. Sometime yesterday, early in the morning, I ventured out into the “real” world, into the great cosmic universe that is my “super-sized” supermarket to go and get some groceries. I got bread and milk and butter and eggs and, yes, even cereal. In case you’re wondering, which you really shouldn’t (I’d be the first to tell you) I got some cinnamon flavored Total flakes. And I had some. Just now, in fact. Yes, you read that right. Just now, a few minutes before I sat down to write my daily posting, in my little white otherwise empty “Type Your Post Here:” blog box, I ate some cinnamon flavored Total type of cereal. And it was good too. I’d have to say that, I’d buy it again, should I have the opportunity-and I’m optimistic about it-I look forward to having it again someday, maybe tomorrow, in fact. It’s a good cereal, that Total is, and I do like cinnamon, I have to admit. Not going to bring about world peace, not going to make me rich and famous, not going to land me that oh-so-plum gallery gig I want next, but, you know, tasty nonetheless.
So, now you know, should I ever happen to get famous, and you, my dearest snowflakes, find yourselves fighting over me in some obscure on-line forum, you know what to say about that.
But, you know, just in case, here are my answers to those particular two questions:
What’s your favorite breakfast cereal?
Don’t have one, though, right now, I just ate some cinnamon flavored Total and it was pretty good.
In the grand scheme of things, in the great expanding universe that is our ever-changing day-to-day lives, with all the war and peace, famine and hunger around the blue ball of a globe we call home, does it actually matter what anybody’s favorite breakfast cereal is?
Not one frigging iota.
Until next time…
