A friend of mine, Scriber’s Web, asked the other day, “what things would you take with you to the afterlife?”
Here is my response:
- My ipod-yes, I know it’s true, we now have the iphone 3G but I still love my mini. Does that make me “retro cool” or just “helplessly tragic?” The jury is still out on that one but, either way, my ipod’s coming along for the ride if I have any say in the matter.
- Some really good pasta-ok, so I’m a carbivore. What can I say?
- My TiVo-being a technical device of sound mind (!) and strong body, my TiVo faithfully records all sorts of crap I’d miss otherwise. Yes, yes, I know, I’m willing to forgive that murder plot it hatched a few moons back and put up with its little (!) obsession over Nicolas Cage. Even given all of the “bad karma” that TiVo’s been able to drum up, I’d still take along my TiVo and my TV set. A girl’s got to have something to watch, right? Besides, after all of this, you wouldn’t want me to start to miss my Law and Order re-runs now, would you?
- My camera foo-all of it. The lenses, the lensbabies, the big mama macro, the converted infrared body, even the old Hassy that never gets used. Hey, I can always hope there’s a stash of film up there, right? I’m sure those “I Use Film!” people have found their way into the afterlife and taken over all of the sinks already.
- My photo book collection-all of it. Yes, I know it’s heavy but, hey, this isn’t the airlines, right? There were no weight restrictions when I signed up for this ticket. Besides, I want to spend all of eternity (ok, maybe just part of it) looking at some pretty pictures.
- Coffee, chocolates, and other assorted “vices-” the afterlife may be all of that and more, but I still want my fill of these earthbound treats.
- My car-I swear I can remember a Monty Python skit of some kind where the Grim Reaper shows up at the door, to collect the entire crowd, only to find them too lazy to walk. After eating tainted potato salad, or some such thing, the group decides they are, in fact, too lazy and, almost like a misguided Top Gear stunt, all decide to drive into the hereafter. The skit might have ended with them all driving into the afterlife as a joke, but this is my list so, if it were up to me, I’d take the old clunker. Besides, who knows? They might have effortless car washes up there and then, for once, I’d be able to drive a clean white crap-mobile. Hey, you laugh but it could happen. (Maybe they even have one of those hot wax machines with like the big fluffy brushes and all. Man, I love big fluffy brushes.)
- My dog-this one goes without saying but Chase would have to come along too. Pack up your bowl, little buddy, it’s going to be a long car ride to this vets….
- My sleep number bed-hey, the afterlife should be just as comfortable as this one, right? Besides, who would want to rest for all eternity on a lumpy bed?
- Finally, in a feeble attempt at making myself immortal, I’d have to wind up with an accessory-an infinite supply of compact flash. In my defense, it had to go with the camera and, hey, good luck finding that. If I have to wait for you to drum up more CF than I can shoot in an after-lifetime, I might be around this one for a long, long time….
All that and I’m sure there’s still a million things I didn’t think of.
Until next lifetime this time…