Election Day Blog
Greetings from the campaign trail!
Charlie’s very tired, as it’s been an especially long and grueling campaign. He was so far ahead in the polls too, until those danged “Swift Cats for Truth” came out against him. That, and that silly scandal with Dan Rather and his forged rabies vaccination certificates. How were we to know that him throwing back his purple heartworm pills would cause such a ruckus so many years later? I’ll have to keep this in mind if I ever run for office myself. But, he’s survived and I believe strongly that he’s still the best candidate around.
What, you were going to vote for a pink-o commie or a right wing nut job? Pluh-lease. If Michael Moore knew what was good for him, he’d do a dog-umentary on “Faren-woof 9/11: the temperature at which dogs bark at everything under the sun.” With VP Toby by his side, Charlie’s about ready to be leader of the free world. He’s promised dog biscuits for all and he will lower vet bills by not running into traffic. He’ll do something about social security because, twelve is *very old* in “people years” and he’s ready to come out and support the senior population. He hasn’t been to Florida, but he once sniffed a poodle from there, so he knows the playing field and can count the hanging chads on one paw. He’s not about ready to give up the fight.
Sound crazy? Well, maybe it is, but Charlie could turn out to be the “sleeper sensible” candidate on the ballot at an election polling place near you.
That is, if you could even *get to* an election polling place near you. The lines are so long, the competition so fierce, the nutcases out in force. Gosh, I hope the sheriff is armed to the teeth in my neck of the woods. They’ve already had scandals here involving the theft of ballots. And that was before we all knew what a chad really was.
As for me, I’ve cast my vote already. I waited in line, did my civic duty, blackened my appropriate ovals, and stuffed my ballot into the unassuming grey box along with the other fifty thousand or so other odd Williamson County Texas voters. We still have paper ballots, and I saw at least one law official packing a pistol so, despite this being the height of “crazy” season all over the globe, I have a little faith that, in fact, my vote might actually get counted.
And somebody, late at night, across town, is going to look up and say, “Charlie who?”
Until next time…