So, I’ve been wanting to get a tree in my backyard for sometime now. I kept putting it off, for either lack of money or lack of the ability to decide where exactly to put a tree. The other day, I thought that, while I’m home, I would do something about this. So, I called the Geoscapes people and asked for a tree. I ordered a Bradford Pear tree which, I’m told, does not bear fruit (like a regular “pear” tree) but does bloom and “do something almost all the time.” It’s leaves turn red in the autumn and it’s nice and full in the spring and summer anyway.

So, today we’re sitting outside, with the dogs, watching the world go by, when my Dad spots this truck, it was a landscaper’s truck. When I ordered the tree, I gave them my cell phone number and they said they’d call before delivering and putting in the tree. So, I chase the landscaper’s truck down the block and, sure enough, it was about six guys with shovels and pick axes (not to mention the tree itself, which was in the back of the truck) looking for my home.

We go to the back yard, where I had marked off, with little “flags” the intended spot for the tree. The men start digging. The men keep digging. I swear I saw China down there. Either that, or they intentionally struck oil in the back. And so, I’m thinking, “Hmmm. They are digging an awefully big hold for a little tree.” Since I’m thinking this, I decide to go check out the tree in the back of the truck. That’s when I saw it.

It wasn’t just “tree,” it wasn’t the 30 gallon bucket tree I had ordered. No this was a wopping 2 story monster of a tree. “It’s a 95 gallon bucket tree,” the guy tells me, “we didn’t have anything else, so you got lucky.”

(When I had called the lady said, “do you want 15 gallon, 30 gallon, or 45 gallon,” and I got prices. “30 gallon,” I decided upon, since I didn’t want to pay double the money for a bigger tree.)

Well, now it’s TREE. It’s here, it’s real, it’s in my face. Actually, it’s in my backyard. It’s bigger than my backyard. Dragging it down the alley besides my house, they almost scratched my neighbors SECOND STORY window with TREE. It’s larger than life. I had hoped that, after putting in a 30 gallon tree, feeding it, watering it, and waiting for a few years, I would get some privacy in 5 years or so. Dang if you can see the next block now. All I can see is TREE. I had to water TREE tonight for several hours, since it’s new, and it sopped up gallons of H2O.

I feel like I’ve won some sort of arbor lotto jackpot. I have a TREE so big, some kid three houses down was shouting, “hey, lookie the big TREE,” as they were digging the hole to China and filling it with my newfound arbor lotto winnings. I am still expecting a man in a tabbed color shirt to come in the back door and join me for a spot of tea, guessing he’d be thirsty after such a long trek, all the way from China and all.

I wonder what kind of trees they have in China. I’m guessing at least a few 95 gallon “pears” but that’s just a hunch.

Until next time…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *