Bless This House – No Actually Run, I’m Doing a Remodel

Bless this house and those who’ve sinned in it. Did I mention I live alone? Well, unless you count the dog and he’s not talking. (Actually, come to think of it, there is this big white girl dog next door who barks incessantly at him. Maybe I’m not the only sinner in the house? Ah, we’ll just chalk that up to the garbage men being overly loud and move on.) Pray for me, I’m remodeling. Though I know it’s a brutal path, a path many stronger men have forged before me and lost (by the way-the insane asylum is filled with more than one person who lost the good fight here, I’m sure.) I’m forging ahead. Onward, faithful remodelers! Into the abyss we go!

So far, I’ve gotten a new roof, replaced the insinkerator, gotten a new fence, and replaced the shower head. Did I mention *I* replaced the shower head? That’s *I* as in little old me. Yes, horror of horrors, I actually did something and it worked. Will the world ever survive? Eh, probably not but I can take a shower once again. Hooray!

Next up, I’m working in the master bath. A place where few dare to tread. Since I’ve replaced the roof, I have to now work on the inside of the house, the place where the roof leaked, and through the wonders of gravity, that would be the master bathroom. (As luck would have it, the leaking roof leaked right into the jacuzzi tub.) Now, to fix the previous leak, I am getting some new sheet rock installed over the tub, and, since I have to paint anyway, I’ve decided to replace the towel bar with a shelf and replace the lighting with some spiffy newfangled LED lighting. And, since it follows that we have to have painters into the house, it also naturally follows that I’m going to ask the painters to fix up the studio, to actually help me move some of my art shelving so I can get it up off the floor and use the newfound space for a home studio.

Yes, you read that right. Brought to you by convoluted Carol logic, but there it is. I’m in the midst of setting up (actually finishing the setup) of my home studio. Wish me luck, oh great and wise Internets, for I am going to need all of the luck, skill, prayers, sacrificial farm animals, voodoo dolls and chicken casseroles you can muster. I’m going in! It’s going to be deep. It’s going to be big. I may not come out the other side. If you happen upon me walking downtown somewhere, in a daze, complete stupor on my face with like a toilet plunger stuck to my head why, you can say you knew me when, and you can probably laugh at what happened. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

I’m probably going to be a mixed bag over the next couple of weeks in terms of getting back to you, responding to emails, and the like. I did mention this is deep, yes? And I seriously need to finish it. It’s been going on for a while now, half finished projects, things all over the place that need work, little things that just add up. Yes, it’s time to fix it, finish it, get ‘er done as they say here in Texas. So, while you may be missing me in the near future, look on the bright side. I’m sure I’ll have some funny stories to tell should I happen to make it out the other side of this. Imagine the blog posts that will come after this! I can hardly fathom the chaos that’s sure to follow. Look on the bright side of life as well. Better me than you, right?

I’ve already had my share of funny stories and we’re not that deep into this. I mentioned the new shower head, yes? A few weeks ago I went to take a shower and I happened to notice the water was hitting the wall and my head? Well, not so much. Upon closer inspection, I came to realize that my (now old) shower head had a hole in the line leading from the wand part to the wall. A hole? You know the type of thing that water leaks through? Yeah, that. So, I decided it was time for a replacement. I mustered up the courage to head into my local Lowe’s hardware store and asked the clerk what to do. I told him I wanted a hand held shower head since I liked to clean…my feet. You see, I use one of those fancy pull-down shower heads that allows you to spray off your feet should you happen to get stuck in the mud. For some reason, the nice clerk at Lowe’s thought it was pretty funny that I had stinky feet. I ended up getting a nice Moen shower head that has a magnet on it, so it snaps back into place automagically once you’re done, you know, cleaning said feet and all. Nice. And, did I mention I installed it myself? By God, I’ve done something! Mic drop, world ends, film at 11! OK, so maybe it’s not that bad but, still, you know, it feels like I never do anything anymore other than complain. And, I guess, install shower heads.

Now, I’ve got a lot to do before the remodeling crew comes to visit on the 19th and I’m very far behind in doing it so, again, I ask that you please tolerate my absence while this is going down. I’ll be back soon enough with expensive tales of woe and plumber’s crack the likes of which…well, let’s just say it’s going to be an adventure and leave it at that, ok?

All this and the shower head is just a start. Did I mention I was remodeling? What, did I get hit in the head with a falling brick or something? Somebody save me, please, I think I need a brain transplant stat!

Until next time…

This image from recent Peru trip, taken in Lima with the Canon 5DS and the walkabout lens. Miraflores district somewhere on a lost, forgotten wall. Oh, the house was being remodeled too (I feel their pain!)

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