I wish I could say “Happy Tax Day!” but it’s not very happy for some folks. This is the aftermath of what happens when you don’t pay your taxes-the government drives you so crazy you fly your plane into a building and create a traffic snarl the likes of which….well, let’s just say “you go bonkers!” and leave it at that, ok? Time to pay the piper as it were so sharpen those pencils, pound on those calculators, get to work, send in that money, and get it over with so we can all get on with our lives already!
I did my taxes on Friday. I mailed them in (with a check. Ugh!) on Monday. I hope the IRS gets them in time. I’m told there’s a little bit of “wiggle room” but not usually all that much. Especially now, with all of the e-filing and such, it’s hard for those computers, all those gerbils running around in small plastic ventilated balls, to keep up, isn’t it? I mean, don’t you just feel sorry for them, churning around like that, powering up the processing on all of those W-2’s and such?
Taxes can be especially hard for photographers. I mean, most of us are self-employed these days and with travel expenses, mileage, receipts, depreciation on equipment, insurance, etc. it’s hard to add all of that up sometimes. It’s a real chore. Then, when you combine stocks or any other kind of purchases, it’s enough to make even the likes of TurboTax slow down. Yes, I’d have to say “Turbo” Tax is even looking pretty slow these days-it’s barely puttering along on this, the most busiest of taxing days.
It’s a little bit comforting to know that even famous people have to pay taxes today too. Just think, somewhere off in the distance, several of Donald Trump’s tax accountants are just as busy as we are. And, the best part of that? He probably has to write out a much bigger check than we do. HA!
Even other celebrities pay taxes too. The Jolie-Pitts and their massive pile of deductions (ahem, read: children) are off somewhere paying taxes. I’m sure their forms are very good looking-much better looking than ours but, hey, it’s a bit of a comfort to know that they too still have to pay up. I’m sure it’s one hot looking check they’re about to write out to the government but, hey, they’re paying up too, just like the rest of us slobs.
I wonder if the IRS gets “fake” taxes from “fake” people-like, maybe does Superman pay his taxes? I wonder if they’ve ever gotten a tax form from “Clark Kent” or “Kris Kringle.” Now that would be a laugh. Perhaps even my favorite of favorites, Lord Stig pay some kind of government levy? Hey, there must be some kind of tax on all of those Lamborghinis, right? Of course, his probably come in a super secret envelope and smell like Turkish Delight but, you know, at the end of the day, as the sun sets on the Top Gear track, I’m sure even he has to cough up something for the Queen.
So, if you haven’t done your taxes just yet, rejoice! There’s still a few hours more. And, if you are completely stuck, you can always file for that oh-so-helpful extension. That’s a favorite. Either way, it’s tax day so get to work and I hope it works out for you in the end.
Look at the bright side. One way or another, after today, all of those forms, all of that red tape, all of that government bureaucracy will be behind us for yet another year (one way or another.)
Until next time…