Since I’ve been sick lately, I thought that I would give you the highlights. No, don’t worry, I’ll spare you the gory details of body parts better left unshared but, instead, I shall give you the funnies. (Hey, I had to suffer, don’t you think somebody ought to get a laugh out of all this?)
Here are some actual conversations I’ve had with medical professionals in recent days:
Me (on telephone): Doctor, I would like to get an appointment because I’m bleeding. The blood is gushing out of me in fact.
Doctor: What’s that you say, you’re bleeding?
Me: Yes. Bleeding. I’m bleeding.
Doctor: I’m sorry, we don’t treat that. You’ll have to go see a specialist.
Me: You don’t treat pain and you don’t treat bleeding? What type of ailments does you office actually treat then?
Doctor: Oh, we’re a general practitioner.
And another, separate conversation.
Doctor (on the telephone): Right now are you pregnant?
Doctor: Right now are you trying to get pregnant?
Me (thinks to self, “No, you idiot, right now I’m on the telephone trying to get a doctor’s appointment because I’m sick. If I were trying to get pregnant, I wouldn’t use a telephone.”) No.
Doctor: Are you sure that you’re not pregnant and that, right now, you’re not trying to get pregnant?
Me: Oh, I think I would notice. Yes, I’m certain.
The bottom line? Don’t get sick; it’ll kill you.
Until next time…
Are you OK? Did they remove body parts. I tried to call you yesterday on your cell—will try and catch up with you.
“No, you idiot, right now I’m on the telephone trying to get a doctor’s appointment because I’m sick. If I were trying to get pregnant, I wouldn’t use a telephone”
LOL! Too funny.
Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks for all of the kind wishes. I am fine…for now. I do have to go see more doctors to make sure everything’s ok though.
This is why I will NEVER give up my doctor. I show him my problems and he tells me that they’re really fine the way they are. I developed a cyst on a joint, and he said that he could refer me if I really wanted him to but it would be surgery, there were risks, and if it wasn’t really bothering me there was no need to do anything much about it. He doesn’t push pills, either.