So, I was watching Top Gear last night, on BBC America, which is now showing older re-runs of the program, when I saw the boys take on ScooterMan. For those of you who don’t know, ScooterMan is a taxi service in London that’s trying to reduce drunk driving by sending a foldable scooter driver to drive you and your car home after a night out on the town. The boys “volunteered” as ScooterMen as a rouse to test drive cars.
The problem with this little plan, as Richard Hammond discovered, is that, well, it’s hard to test drive people’s cars with people in them. So Hammond, in an attempt at being cute and clever (he never seems to have to “attempt” that, actually, he usually just comes across that way. He should not, however, attempt to drive any rocket powered spacecraft disguised as a land crossing vehicle again-that’s neither cute nor clever and he’ll wind up breaking his head open-again) whereby he would say anything negative about a car by using the name of a condiment. So, for example, if your suspension were too soft, instead of saying, “well the suspension in this car is too soft” he’d say, “the suspension in this car is salty.” That sort of a thing.
While it was clever for a bit on Top Gear, it also got me thinking. Imagine if I did a whole blog “condiment style.” Imagine if, instead of getting up tomorrow morning and typing at my computer, “blah blah blah I hate TiVo blah blah blah WalMart sucks blah blah blah These people are idiots” I instead used “condiment theory” to blog.
Well, we’d probably wind up with something like this:
I’m really glad I got to see Tabasco Top Gear last night, since my salty TiVo once again recorded another fine episode of soy sauce Snapped. Oh I bet that Horseradish Nicolas Cage is just up to his ears in barbeque sauce over this one. Pass the ketchup anyone?
It might be quite funny, actually, though, come to think of it, it’d still leave me in a pickle.
Until next Salsa….