Little Fits of Madness That Fill My Day

HotelBoatNo4, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Today I had my car serviced. It was due for one of those “whatever” thousand mile check-ups. An interesting thing about the new dealer (Acura) is that they include, as part of the service, a free car wash.

I’ve always been one to keep a dirty car. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that my car is covered in what I like to call “a protective layer of dirt.” I never wash it. The world could end and I wouldn’t care if I had a dirty car. I would just drive to Hell in a dirty, once white, car. Typically, it’s so dirty I find people ask me what color it is. I love to inform them, “white. Well, sorta.”

So, I take the car into the service shop and they wash it and they call me to tell me it’s done. I catch a ride back to the shop, and the guy at the service desk tells me, “our car washing machine broke but, luckily, your car was the last one in before it did.” I pay them and be done with it, because, well, car stuff is expensive but a necessary evil, but then, as I’m driving back, it hits me. My car was “the car,” the one actually, that broke the car washing machine. It was so dirty, it actually broke the machine. Ha! How’s that for a distinction?

So, now that you know I have the dirtiest car in the world (well, except maybe for one that plays porn on the back, on one of those little “pull down” DVD players they have now. I’m an expert on dirty cars and, I’d have to admit, that would be one *dirty* SUV. It would almost make my dusty white Honda look, well, clean. Sorta.) This is a good time to tell you that, in fact, (ahem, stand back, this is going to be good) I have ordered a new TiVo (don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Yes, my snowflakes, I have ordered one of these. I can only begin to imagine what this puppy is going to record. (Horror of horrors, it’s one of those TiVo’s that can record two programs at once.) It’s going to be like Mr. Toads Wild Ride in here only without the teacups. (Man, I so have to have a flying teacup. My life would be complete.)

Speaking of imagination, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and the like, it’s only a few days now until NaNoWriMo. I’ve got my characters started. I’m thinking about a plot (finalizing it actually) and I’m working on a theme. My novella is going to be about the life of a HoBo. Did you know they once printed a Hobo newspaper? Back before HoBo’s were called “homeless people” and got some street cred, they actually made a newspaper filled with HoBo news. It’s true. They did. And, I’m going to write about it. Look for Vagabond Times to come your way sometime in December if I survive NaNoWriMo and, um, it actually gets written.

Speaking of NaNoWriMo, this would probably be a good time to tell you that I’m tossing around some ideas for this blog come November. Since I’ll be busy writing a novella, and since the purpose of a journal really is to keep up one’s writing skills until a “real opportunity” comes along (like, say, the opportunity to write a novella) I may end up putting some of the NaNoWriMo output on this site for the curious. Then again, giving you excerpts of something unfinished and sort of a “work in progress” might be quite jarring and going stagnant for a month doesn’t appeal to me either so I’m tossing around a few ideas. I’m possibly going to switch to a photo-only format and include excerpts or I might even update this site with status and humor. We’ll see. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please email me and I’ll consider them.

Speaking of humor, did you hear the one about the grocery store clerk in Boston?

This guy shops in a local grocery store in Boston. He’s in a hurry and doesn’t have much time, so he gathers his items and makes a dash for the express checkout. Trouble is, he’s got more than the “10 items or fewer” the sign indicates. He gets to the front of the line and apologies to the clerk saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize and I have more than 10 items.”

The clerk responds, “Buddy, this is Boston. Are you from Harvard and cannot read or MIT and cannot add?”

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. I’d better enjoy it now. I’m sure I won’t be laughing once that TiVo arrives and starts recording, well, who knows what..

Until next time…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *