As if the horror of “The Book of Days” were not enough, I come home tonight, after a quick dash to Fry’s to replace a card reader that was (quite literally!) smoking, only to find a message from my TiVo. (My TiVo is, I suppose, “smart” enough to actually send me messages, when it’s not busy recording gobs of murders and a Nicolas Cage flick or forty nine.)
My TiVo service now provides a “handy” little feature where it keeps a folder of “Recently Deleted” movies and I can now, in the “boop” of a button, move items into this soon-to-be-trash bucket without having to provide confirmation (So long, Nic! Goodbye, Mr. Manson! Adios, Jeffrey Dahmer! *Boop*)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that’s all well and good but, buried deep within the already almost entirely hidden message was this little gem: “We have also recently changed the way TiVo makes suggestions.”
Oh joy! Good Lord, hide the children, stash lots of drinking water and, um, stock up on vitamins and defense attorneys because, well, TiVo’s gone berserk. (They even *admit* it in their friendly, animated, little messages. *GASP*)
(They *changed* the way they make suggestions, eh? So, what now? Even *more* murder and mayhem? Or, perhaps, Lassie Come Home 24-7? Maybe hookers who don’t wash *or* comb their hair? Oh the horror of it. I can’t even begin to imagine what this twisted algorithm is going to come up with now. So much for American Idol and Law and Order. Hide me!)
In more TiVo news, my friend Steve is, *gulp* actually attempting to *fix* his formerly cursed and now just broken unit. (What’s broken you might ask? Well, my friends, when it comes to TiVo, I’ve learned not to ask. Trust me, you don’t want to know. And, making me use the word “unit” is just plain wrong, so there.)
Animate this. If you really want to get in touch with me, for the next few days, I’ll be hiding under the couch waiting for the world to blow up, one little happy animated, “booping” thumb at a time.
Until next, “Oh CRAP!”