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Women Never Buy Red Lingerie and Other Civilities

I got the Victoria’s Secret catalog last week, indicating that they are having their semi-annual “everything’s on sale” sale. Interesting reading and even better to use as birdcage liner. But I digress…

Some interesting factoids about lingerie that you possibly didn’t know and probably don’t care about anyway. Women never buy red lingerie. Women buy lingerie in white, beige, black, and soft pink. Men love red lingerie. They also like electric blue, hot pink, and bright green. Women prefer cotton undies, while men like silk or polyester. Sorry to burst your fantasy but women prefer to sleep in sweats or a T-shirt. Men would love it if all women slept in sexy lingerie. Woman always have cold feet so they sometimes sleep with socks on. Usually brightly colored socks with holes in them, you know the kind, the funky knee-high variety, but they prefer to wear them scrunched down below the knee. Men don’t like socks like this at all. I’m sure men would just love it if women could figure out a way to sleep in nine inch stiletto heals.

What’s that? You say stiletto’s don’t come in nine inches? Here’s another secret for you: women know exactly how long nine inches really is. We just pretend it’s smaller to be nice, just as you pretend, “a B cup is really not all that flat” or “no, honey, that dress doesn’t make you look fat.” If we were courteous, we wouldn’t get along. Oh wait, I forgot, we don’t. We just have to share the same space for eons and like, occassionaly, reproduce together.

Sigh. Done in by the facts of life.

But I’m still not going to get any red lingerie and you’re not taking my socks. (I don’t even let Charlie eat my socks.)

Until next time…


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