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“Take the Spiderman Bowling, Take him Bowling”

We went bowling this weekend. Reed the Weed bowled something that was like 6 pins shy of 200. Funny part was it was like the third game and he started out with nothing but strikes. I told him his score was “starting to look like South Austin, what with nothing but XXX next to each other.” He blew past double, through turkey, by four by four and into the fivers. Whew. Also preluded the bowling with a trip to Trudy’s for…drum roll please…migas. Yeah right, like you couldn’t have seen that one coming (or, at least, breathing heavily.) They were a little less fluffy than the norm but still quite good, despite their best attempts at aggravating our senses with REALLY BAD DISCO MUSIC PLAYED AT HIGH VOLUMN. Geesh, what’s up with that? I told Ken and company that, “if they played Ring my Bell I was out of there.” Luckily they didn’t and my dinner stayed down. Migas are always better on the inside. I don’t know why I was so anti-Ring My Bell on Saturday evening, maybe I just have bad memories from the 70’s and the disco era. I don’t know and I’d probably need the help of a shrink to find out. But then, don’t we all have bad memories of the disco era? I mean, this was the time and place that gave us exposed chest hair, gold chains, and white jumpsuits. Eeek.

As we’re bowling, there’s a tribe of kids at the lane next door, one of whom was dressed up in Spiderman PJ’s. I checked, there were no buggers, no pubes, no bras in the ladies room (I couldn’t check the men’s room, but I’ll take Ken at his word when he says it was, “clean, automated, bugger and pube free.” Wow, how’s that for a toilet?) Spidey seemed to bowl better too, after he put his little mask on. The kiddies were kind of cute, despite the fact that many of them had to bowl with the bumpers up. If I ever do decide to bowl, and not just sit there like a bump in Spidy’s web, I’ll have to remember to use the bumpers. Gotta get me some bumpers.

Don’t you wish you could have bumpers in real life? Ooops, sorry, didn’t mean to run over your children, depress your vagina and all, I’ll just bouce off this here bumper and the world will be a better place. Ah, if only I could make it so. What’s that they say, “if wishes were horses…”

On a more mundane note (as if bowling wasn’t exciting enough) it’s been raining Biblical proportions as of late. Dang. I’ve never seen so much water in River City (how’s that for an oxymoron?) I seriously would not be surprised to see some dude float by in an ark. And I wouldn’t even shake my head (twice) if he were wearing a Spiderman mask. Yes, Virginia, there really is a Spiderman and, lucky for you, he knows how to swim. What’s the Spidy’s doing the backstroke while towing an ark? You laugh but it could happen. As long as he can squeeze two cabana boys on that ark, I’d be ready for the floodwaters to rise up and overtake the levee. And I don’t even know how to swim.

Until next time…


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