The Cult of Lomo

She Said Goodbye, originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.

While reading Ram’s wonderful blog (The Food Here) it dawned on me that he’s not the only one fending off some serious cult-like behavior. Those lomo people, it would appear, have a cult all to themselves. Sure, you might laugh at me for suggesting it but, when you really come down to it, they are nothing more than a film-based cult.

Think about it. They tend to have shorn hair and wear loose fitting clothing. They frequent airports. They even once got Brad Pitt to closely crop his hair and star in some “artsy” movie wherein he starts out old and grows young again. If that isn’t inexplicable cult-like behavior, I don’t know what is. Oh, sure, I mean, instead of the usual chanting, you know the “Hare Krishna, Hare, Hare Krishna” slogans that you typically hear, they do tend to chant the slightly different, “I Use Film!” and you might say this is a bit odd, maybe unexpected, but not totally out of the range of “cult” if you ask me.

Yes, the more I think about it, the more cult-like those lomo followers actually are. And, come to think of it, this odd cult-like behavior does go a long way to explaining the free T-shirts. I mean, just think about it, isn’t that how cults work these days? They lure you in with freebies and promises of virgins in the afterlife before they lock you down, brainwash you, and sing you the group chant, which you dutifully perform at airports, all the while sucking the very lifeblood out of you and eating every last one of the dollars in your pocket. Yes, yes, the more one considers it, the more those lomo people really do clock in as their own little “cult.” (Have you seen the prices of film these days?)

Just the other day, Kathy sent me an email telling me that she was trying to hook-up her Diana camera with some Polaroid film. “I went to the lomo site,” she writes, “and found that they had some kind of adapter, which was cheap and easy to use, but I had to use one of their newer Diana cameras, not the antique ones that we have.” Oh sure, you lomo people, I know now what you’re all about-one minute you’re luring us in with your newfangled Diana cameras and the next we’ll be wearing loose fitting robes, dancing in the streets, banging tambourines, while chanting, “I Use Film! I Use Film! I Use Film, Film, Film!” all broke and miserable. All the while you, you lomo cult leaders around the globe bask in the glory of another man down, another digital sensor gathering dust, another brick of film sold to the masses.

Yes, you rotten lomo people, don’t think for one minute that I don’t know what you’re up to. I see now your evil ways, I know now what you’re up to, and I intend to put a stop to this once a for all.

Well, I’ll put a stop to it as soon as my next film order arrives save and sound upon my doorstep. (And I’ll be doing it wearing my free “I Use Film!” T-shirt. So there!)

Until next Reverend Son Myung Lomo….