The other day, I posted something about needing a laptop case. I need a new case for my laptop and so I thought, hey, no problem. I”ll let the Internets do all of the work for me. I’ll just post something up on Twittered Facebook Bloggy-land and somebody somewhere surely will answer my calls for help, right? Right? One of my oh so cool and clever friends, somebody out in snowflake land can surely help out queen flake in her hour of need, right? Right? (Hello?!? Is this thing on?!?)
So, posted I did. I even put some clever little “keywords” in there, you know stuff like iPhone, Macbook, Macbook Air, iNeed, iWantToBuyNow, iHaveMoneyandWantToSpendItOnYourOverpricedCrap and the like. I thought, for sure, this would make the Internets rise up and swallow me right? I mean, the Internets should have sparked up and descended upon me like a pack of angry drooling wolves upon an unsuspecting sheep. Heck, I’m even picturing swarming great white sharks with giant fangs and blood in the waters. There should have been so many people attacking me at that very given moment, why the Internet itself should have like imploded or at least had some kind of little “blip” like it has when the cables in the closets all light up at once. Yes, indeed, it should have been like a Christmas tree in cabled closets everywhere, what with me posting how I want to buy an iSomething and keywords flying around like feathers in the wind and all.
But did it? Did the Internets even pay the slightest bit of attention to me at that very given second? Nope. Not even a peep. *Crickets* I tell you. Crickets. Not a peep, not a tweet, not even somebody trying to sell me some Viagra from Nigeria. (Gosh, I never thought I’d be typing this but, where oh where is that Nigerian diplomat when you’re not feeling the love?)
So now, let’s recap. Where does this leave me? I still don’t have a laptop case and now I’m also wondering if I’ve said something totally stupid and all of my friends have now disowned me and de-friended me on Facebook (and the like.) Is is even possible to “un-Twit” someone and, if so, what could I possibly have done to deserve this, the coldest of cold shoulders? I mean, deep down inside, I really suspect that I probably just happened to hit a lull in the Internets bit packet transfer, and I suppose I’d have to admit it kind of feels like hitting a pregnant pause during an otherwise engaging dinner conversation but still, just in case, I’ve got to tell you something to perk up your interests just, you know, just in case you really aren’t paying all that much attention.
Ahem. LISTEN UP! See the chick in the photo? Yeah, she’s naked under her clothing. (“A naked chic! Carol’s gone and posted a naked chic photo!” Go on, off to tell all of your friends. We can’t let the world think the Internets are busted. Come on now, you have work to do. Chop chop!)
Are you feeling the love? Can you feel the love from where you sit? Is that really love or, like, does the Internet just smell kind of funny today.
Until next time…
