It’s time for a celebrity crush. You know celebrity crush, don’t you? It’s the sort of orange bottle, third one from the left (in the machine, silly.)
Ah yes, my latest celebrity crush. There are two right now. I’m (still) in love with The Stig from Top Gear, though he’s quite hard to catch. I’d propose marriage but I really can’t drive fast enough. Meh, it’d be hard taking pictures with a helmet on anyway, so I guess, “Mrs. Stig” is out of the question for me (that doesn’t mean I can’t romance him from afar though, just you wait and see. We’re all about unrequited love here at Carol’s Little World. Well, unrequited love, cheap beer, silly TiVo happenings, and trips to odd places, but “unrequited love” really is on the list….somewhere.) And then there’s my second celebrity crush-time to tell you about that one.
I used to hate David Tennant. When I first saw him, I didn’t like him at all. He’s too thin, tall and gangly, with a pointed nose that makes him look like a weasel. I hate weasels. (Ok, maybe not so much a weasel, more like a demented squirrel but, like, either way, we’re talking serious rodentia here.)
But then something happened. I started watching Doctor Who re-runs. Even I must admit, stale popcorn be damned, the man plays a mean Doctor Who. Damn. He’s good. So, he sort of started to grow on me. You know, he kind of slowly won me over. Now, I look at him and I can’t help but think, “ok, maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he isn’t so gangly and gnarly looking. In fact, he’s kind of cute for a weasel.” And, there you have it. He’s now won me over and he’s my latest (second) celebrity crush.
I’m really kind of stuck though, if you think about it. I mean, one of my celebrity crushes drives 10,000 miles an hour-he goes ’round the track so fast I can’t catch him, so he’s out of the question. And the other? Well, while he’s a bit slower and entirely more weasel-like (what without the helmet and all) he’s got a freaking time machine. Ah, there’s no hope for me. Forever destined to remain single. (Why, oh why, can’t I get a crush on somebody more normal? You know, somebody like David Letterman? He’d be easy to catch, wouldn’t he? I mean I could just hide in the bushes waiting for an autograph, and I wouldn’t have to drive 10,000 miles an hour or traipse though time and space in a little blue box to catch him. Sigh. Life could be so easy if only that were the case.)
So, there you have it. The latest in celebrity crush, mixed just for you.
Until next time…
I haven’t really seen the show but let me ask you something…
The Stig may be driving 10,000 miles an hour but isn’t he driving around in circles? I mean an actual circle? Where you go round and round and round?
So all you have to do is wait for the race to start. Once Stig takes off, run to the race track and frantically wave your hands. Oh I forgot to mention that you should get a banner that says:
The Stig! I am yours! Marry me!
I am sure that when The Stig completes his lap and sees you, you will have all his attention.
Let me know if you need a ride to this event.
I think it will be a fabulous photo op. for me.
It’s no so much a circle, more like a circuit-they don’t use racing oval tracks like Nascar in England.
But, yes, if I had access to his (private) track, I would be out there with a sign that said, “Marry me, Stig! I am yours!”
The problem is that The Stig is a driving machine. He’d never notice me. He’s either driving, driving, or, um, driving. When he’s not driving, they take him apart and store him in a box near the back of the garage.