That’s a Lotta Latte
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This morning, I attended a training class at work where they brought in Starbuck’s coffee for us to enjoy. Now, a normal person would, upon hearing this, think something along the lines of, “well isn’t that nice of them,” but I’m here to tell you to think differently (well, me and Apple computer. And I can’t say for certain it worked for them either.)
You see, the place where I now work, Motive, actually is a Starbucks, disguised as a software company. The whole, “we make software that makes the world go around” is complete bunk. Don’t believe the marketing hype. No, I’m here to tell you it’s all about the coffee.
I used to work at a place that had this really nice coffee maker. It was way down in South Austin, the commute was Hell, and the job sucked, but the coffee was fantastic. To this day, when I drive by there, I think, “that was the sucky job in the pretty building with really good coffee.” They had these little pod-like plastic baggies that you put into a machine, push a button, and then, wham! the best coffee. At least I thought it was. It was freshly made, one cup at a time and you could get it in flavors, even “mixing and matching” if, say you wanted Arabica and Mocha together.
Here at Motive, neh, Starbucks with Executable Code, they have several of those coffee makers. They are the BACKUP coffee makers, used only in dire emergencies-in case the mega grande, grandpappy, motherload of ’em all, the $10,000 latte machines, break down (all, like, 5 of them.) I’m surprised they don’t come surrounded with little glass boxes, small hammers, and signs that read, “use only at your own risk and, even then, I’d stick to Colombian.”
I think Juan Valdez works down the hall and fully expect to walk past him and his burro on the way in one morning. I’m surprised he doesn’t have his very own parking place (well, ok, maybe they’d actually reserve it for the burro.) This place is like a fricking coffee shop with a software problem.
In the breakroom, on every floor, there’s a $10,000 latte machine. It makes single shot, double shot (my current preference) and cafe American (for wimps who demand a full cup everytime.) It automatically loads and grinds the beans, filters the water, disposes with the grounds, all at the touch of one and only one little button, in like 10 seconds or less. It makes the smoothest coffee I have ever tasted. Usually, I have to add milk to my coffee, to make it palatable, but not with this stuff. It’s smooth and creamy out of the shoot. You can even use the steam to foam the milk. And we have a pecking order among folks who can steam better than others. It’s scary.
I have become so addicted to coffee, I’ve even started embracing The Evil Baked Goods People. I mean, a girl’s gotta dunk something, right?
Until next perk, bring on them cookies…
