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Going Postal

Did you ever notice how postal employees never seem to actually go postal? I keep waiting for them to rename it something more appropriate like “going IBM.” It’s a bit harder to say but much more appropriate, don’t you think? (And probably much more likely too.) And, as you know, firefighters never actually are in firefighting mode. It’s just a monkier they use to avoid the whole civil service thing. Apparantly, I’m spending today celebrating life’s oddities.

I really must do something about my recent disheveled appearance. I don’t know why but, lately anyway, I just don’t feel like dressing well. A few folks I’ve run into today (well, not acutally “run” into more like “crossed paths with”) are somewhat dressier than normal and, here I sit, with an old T-shirt, dirty jeans, and dusty sneakers. I know you don’t call them sneakers, but rather “tennis shoes” or something more specific, more expensive sounding. I don’t give a crap, I’ll call them sneakers if I want to, ok? Please, I’m in a bad enough tiff as it is, without having to deal with “nomenclature malfunctions,” right?

Ah, what’s this? A sudden breath of sunshine on my horizon. They are now playing the new song by Norah Jones. God, I love her voice. It’s so calming and relaxing. I can almost feel the weight of the world sliding off my shoulders and onto the floor (running past my, um, er, “tennis shoes.” There I said it.) “It’s the only way to bring me back to you/to you” I just realized it’s a love song. I usually HATE love songs. “Get a divorce!” or “Dump her like a ton of bricks,” I would say. But, no, not this time. I’m even loving the love songs. Gawd, must be my allergies but, somehow, my ears just aren’t working it like they used to.

Oddly enough, they have chosen to follow this song with Live’s acoustic version of Lightening Crashes which I find rather tribal yet somewhat mesmerizing. It’s an interesting song, although not subdued or soft, like Norah. Odd to hear a popular song mention the word “placenta” but, at least, they didn’t try to rhyme it with “magenta.” Now that would have made me go, um, er, IBM. Maybe I’ll write my own lyric:

“Never again. Not IBM. Screw you, they ate Tivoli too. Fa la la la laaaah”

Meet the Beemers. There’s another episode for our TV program. And you can quote me on it too.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in “Carol’s Little World” signing off.


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