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Ted’s Not-so Excellent New Adventure

Ken has IMed me again to inform me that Ted now has a corporate name for his vending machine franchise. Mijo Vending, which gets it’s name from Tex-Mex slang (“mi hijo” is Spanish for “my son” in case you did not know) is now a fully-operational vending machine conglomerate, if such a beast even exists. Ted, it seems, has gone into business with an overweight man named Bob, who once sat on a plastic patio chair and broke it.

Sorry if it sounds cruel, but I’ve just been getting these visions. Strippers dancing on the ceiling, Ted and a fat man driving down the Texas coast, eating too much Mexican food and making frequent stops in bathrooms all along the way, an apartment in South Austin with too many exotic dancers per square foot dancing on the ceiling, the Dalton highway at first light (which roughly corresponds to 1 am). It’s just driving me batty. It’s like I know there’s blogger material in here, but I just can’t seem to find it. (Yeah right.)

So Ken and I have been speculating that we could make one Hell of a movie. It could be kind of like Jackass, the TV series, only without the stunts. We could have our Alaskan drilling for oil along the Dalton highway summertime special, our natural gas expedition along the Texas coast and let’s not forget our “stripper-rama” which would be the ceiling dance off. I would finally get the recognition I deserve as a director. Hey, you laugh but, it could happen.

And in the “I would sincerely like to thank the academy…” department, much credit goes to all the other folks from Ci2i to have been keeping more than arm’s length away from this fiasco. It’s not easy being green, I suppose. At least that’s what Kermit once said.

Now, if only I could figure out how to work a frog or some barnyard animals (besides the caribou) into the movie. There’s blockbuster material if I ever saw it. Ted, a frog, a stripper, a fat man sitting on a plastic patio chair, a cloud of methane gas, a herd of caribou, and an endless sunset along the Dalton Highway.


Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in “Carol’s Little World” signing off.


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