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Attack of, oh Hell, Just come on in

I have declared tomorrow “Attack of the Dreaded Tile Man.” You see, home improvements are way too costly and addictive. I know, I know, I said I was going to just put hardwood floors in my new office space and then stop and get myself a new G5, but I can’t resist. I want to re-do my entire home, the way I want it, right now.

So, last week we went out looking for flooring materials, like we have been lately, and I found this place out by the lake that specializes in “really big homes.” It had a huge selection of cool tiles, that I could just pick from for hours. There were all sorts of Mexican tile, handpainted Italian tile, Brazilian tile, Spanish tile, you name it. It was amazing. So, the Dreaded Tile Man is coming over tomorrow to show me some stuff, take some measurements, and give me pricing. I know what’s really going to happen here. He’s going to show me some “pricing” (which is Dreaded Tile Man speak for “items costing more than body parts”) and I’m going to fall out of my chair, onto my horrible carpet, after which point I will decide it is indeed softer than I had anticiapted and I really don’t need to replace it. Not at that cost anyway. But, alas, I must try to put up some kind of a front. Yes, it’s true. I’m going to invite the Dreaded Tile Man over for tea and try to stomache the price of tea in China, let alone the “body part-like” items on his price list. Rather than try to fight off the Dreaded Tile Man, I’m going to invite him right in for some tea and shallow conversation.

So, I’ve picked out this tile, which I think is “way cool” except for the fact that, it’s sort of, heck I’m going to come out and say it. It’s pink. Yes, it’s true, my friends, Sautillo tile is indeed pink. You can call it “terra cotta” or neutral all you want. You can try to take the “girly girl pink” out of the picture, but BAM there it is. Pink. Pink as cotton candy, pink as ribbons in little girls’ hairdos, pink as flamingos. Pink. Terra cotta my ass, it’s pink as pink can come.

Which leads me to my next question. Is there really a problem with a man owning a home that has pink flooring? What happens if I try to sell my home, some “manly man” type of dude comes in and goes “Ewwww?” Even if I label it “authentic Mexican Sautillo terra cotta tile?” Is that really a bad thing? Will he fall for it? I’m sure I’m missing some grand philosophical expression in all of this pink. I just don’t know what it is. It’s not too profound to be pink, I suppose. Pink is just not an intense color. Now, If I’d said purple.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in “Carol’s Little World” signing off.


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