ChurchFieldRoad, originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.
Ok, when last I checked in I might have reported to having some kind of rare bird flu. *Ahem* so nice to see that I was overflowing with “hope you get better soon” messages from all, well, NONE of you. Kidding, kidding…I’m sure you’ll be happy to know (or not) that I’m feeling a bit better today.
I wish I could say the same thing for my TiVo.
Yes, you read that right. You see, while I was stuck in bed, being, well sick, the TiVo was just sort of stuck. The very same murdering TiVo, the very same TiVo that brings me Top Gear and American Idol, and far too much Nicolas Cage for my liking, has gone well, kaput would be the only way I could describe it. In technical terms, it’s started to reboot itself constantly. Yes, now there’s this constant “swoosh” of a sound, which sounds like the wondrous DVR is springing to life, only to be followed by a horrible clanking noise, which sounds like, well, to use a Top Gear euphemism, “that’s not gone well.” It’s clanking when it should be clinking. It’s sleeping when it should be waking. It’s, well, it’s all but dead now, Jim. (Somebody put a fork in it, it’s done.)
Now, after all of my trials and tribulations with the TiVo, after all the murders, all the missed Law & Order re-runs, all the wild, free roaming Nicolas Cage nightmares, you might expect me to be furious and throw a hissy fit at that happy little thumb’s up dude. You might expect me to get all angry, to rant and rage about how I’m going to miss all of my favorite shows, about how TiVo has let me down yet again, about how the known universe has conspired against me once more, yada yada. Well, I’m happy to tell you, you’d be wrong. Nope, not this time. This time? Well, this time I’m going to enjoy my downtime. Yes, you read that right. I’m going to enjoy spending a few days without the television. After I start feeling a bit better, I’m going to try to keep myself out of bed long enough to do something a bit more productive, like, say, painting. Or surfing porno on the Internets. Or learning how to cook. Maybe even getting out and shopping a bit. Why, almost anything is more productive than watching TV, right? And, when it comes down to it, that’s really what I should be doing anyway? No, not this time-this time, my TiVo breaking is actually good for me. I’m taking it as a sign, a bit of an omen, I’m going to enjoy life a bit, without the television. Besides, after this fifteen minutes without the TV is all over you do realize what’s going to come next, don’t you?
Ah, yes indeed. It’ll be time to go shopping alright-time to get myself a new TiVo. And you know, you just know, from the bottom of my cold little black heart, that, when I say, “Oh, now I can hardly wait to see what joy and happiness that will bring into my life” that *this time* I really do mean that. If past history is any indication and all, you know, you just know, that this is going to be one Mr. Toad’s wild ride none of us will want to miss, that’s for certain. Yes, now I can hardly wait to see what a *new* HD TiVo will *boop up* for my viewing pleasure. (You get the popcorn, I’ll hide here, under the couch.)
Until next time…
Best thing to do when you have the bird flu, is to tweet a lot. Honking, squawking, warbling, chirping and clucking can also be remedial. If you find yourself saying, "I taut I taw a puddy tat!" you probably have a fever.
Thanks, Mythopolis! I'm sure I had a fever, though not quite sure I said, "I taut I taw a puddy tat!"