Name the Beast

StripedBeast, originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.

At the car show a few weeks back, I noticed how different the British buggies all looked. Some were sleek and modern, others were sort of funky and cool. Some looked like they were smiling, giggling actually, while others looked all posh and ritzy. Not so with the cars we drive. The modern Japanese sedan is basically a box on wheels. It’s about as well-designed, sleek, and sophisticated as a pizza box, and probably just as tasty if, you know, you were to munch on it (which I would not recommend.) Modern cars, especially Japanese and American cars really are not about design-it’s more like function over form and, quite frankly, it looks like they do neither very well. But, they are cheap and reliable and everybody else has one so, I guess, that’s why we drive them.

There’s even been a trend in car companies and their designs. They have all started to not only rip each other off in terms of design (ever notice how a Honda looks almost exactly like a Toyota? Yeah, it’s kind of hard to miss actually.) Car designers have gotten lazy, so lazy in fact, they don’t really design anything (in the true sense of the word) anymore, they just sort of “spit up” next year’s model. It’s like a three year old regurgitating peas. No design, no, that would be work. Instead, we’ll just spit up what we had last time and hope that nobody’ll notice.

They’ve gotten so lazy that they don’t even name the cars anymore. Cars used to have clever names, like Mustang and Pinto, (hey, it was a clever name, just a sucky car, ok?) Silver Cloud or even Charger. These kind of names make you want to drive-who wouldn’t want to dash around in something called a Charger? Heck, I know I would. Even the Ford Probe, while most people (especially women for some reason :~) hate the name, it got people talking.

Today’s cars all have names like CLK or TSX. It’s supposed to be some kind of weird encryption-like we’re supposed to know that the middle letter “S” indicates some kind of body style. All I know is that it lacks imagination. I mean, crap, who wants to putter about in something called a TSX? It just sounds silly. It’s bad enough they don’t design the thing, that it looks like a box, now you want it to have a stupid name too? Geesh, how lazy can you be? And what’s next for us poor drivers? Are you going to sh*t in bed, kick it out with your feet, and put the badge “turd” right on the hood? Oh the horror!

No, I think car manufacturers should be forced to name cars. Name the beast, I say. If they are going to be so lazy as to copy all of their new ideas, if they can’t provide us with engineering, they should be forced to, at least, come up with some kind of clever name for their “regurgitated peas.” I’m thinking about making bumper stickers that say something like “No More 3 Letters or We Strike!”

But then again, you know, I drive an RSX.

Until next time…

PS Here’s the current tally:

  • Number of NaBloPoMo posts left: 26
  • Number of prints made up for the portfolio party: 0 (number needed: 10)
  • Number of days left until portfolio review: 7
  • Number of prints from which to edit: 231 (to go down to: 60 and then: 10)
  • Number of days left in NaBloPoMo: 27 (as I’m writing this)
  • Number of Blurb books about driving I’ve completed this week: .5 (number needed: 1)
  • Number of chances you have to win a signed limited edition calendar: 2
  • Number of signed limited edition calendars I’m making this year: 2
  • Number of times I’ve proposed to The Stig: 3 (number of times he’s answered: 0)
  • Number of days left until I go completely insane: ???

(Translation: I got half of the Blurb book finished and hope to have it ready real soon now.)


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