And the Left Leg is Connected to…AKA Return of the Cable Guy Dude

Satan’s Fire Pits, originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.

I’ve been working on a new project and, sadly, it does not involve any art or photography at all. I’m re-financing my house. Now, I know that does not sound like a big project but, believe me, had it been a movie, it surely would have been named, “Adventures in Re-Fi.” Oh, good grief! The paperwork is killing me. It’s been all “find this form” and “drag out that file” for what seems like weeks now. (Somebody, please save me!) If that is not enough, I have already told you my horrors surrounding my hard drive and lack of space issues. Yes, I’m still out of room, but I’ve finally decided to do something about the problem.

In the “and the left leg is connected to the….” department, I’ve decided that I need a bigger drive with more storage. Since I have an older (a bit older) Mac, and most of the spiffy new drives are connected using the new Thunderbolt bus, I’ve decided that I’m going to just get a new Mac-one with Thunderbolt and one that’s a bit more up-to-date. All’s well and good there, a new Mac is nice and spiffy, for sure, and I will probably need one at some point anyway. The problem comes in with my router. My Mac, you see, is connected to my router. And that, you see, is an Apple router that is a “G” speed router. I’ve never upgraded it to an “N” speed router because, well, because I just didn’t want to go through all of the crap I would need to go through in order to update it. My router, you see, sort of runs my house.

My TiVo is connected to my router so, in essence, you could say that my router gives me TV. My Internet connection is connected through my router. You probably could have guessed as much but, what you might not have known is that, I have, in the past, passed over upgrading my Internet connection. At the time, I didn’t want to upgrade my router, so I didn’t bother to get (and pay more for) a higher speed modem. No, instead, I’ve opted to keep my current setup, simply because I did not want to do anything with my router. It was too difficult to upgrade so I just kept it and, since I had just kept it all along, there really was no point in getting a faster Internet connection, not really given my slow router, so I never upgraded that either. (You can probably guess where this chain of dominoes is going next.)

So, now here we have it. I am going to get a new Internet connection, a new router, a new Mac, hook it up to my new printer, and then, oh yeah, I still need a hard drive. Phew! It’s like mega King Kemehameah upgrade around here and, yes, it even involves the cable guy dude which, if you knew anything about my history with the cable guy dude, you would know that the odds are really good this is so *not* going to end very well for me at all. (Oh no! Not the cable guy dude. Anything but the cable guy dude. Please?!?) For those of you who might not recall, the last time the cable guy dude came ’round I then vowed that if he ever came ’round again, I would do my best to take him out with a toaster (or, you know, some other suitable small-ish kitchen like appliance that I could live without, at least long enough to bury the body.)

My only hope, at this point, is that all of this happens right on election day, that way I don’t have to pay attention to any of the cable news people (or the Internet masses) ranting away. Heck, if I’m lucky, I won’t even have a TV set that works (because I won’t have cable, because I won’t have a new Mac, because I won’t have a hard drive, because….yeah, you get the idea here.)

What’s that? Do you hear that sound? Somewhere, off in the distance, I swear I can almost hear a cable guy dude laughing. Please now, wish me luck with this next big project, for I sure am going to need lots of that.

Until next time…