You Just Had to See Her

Dashboard Lights No 1 , originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.

A flake of snow wisps across your windshield, you flick the wipers on and watch the blades kick it aside. It’s cold. You’re alone, driving, faster than you should, wondering, waiting, watching, wanting her now; wanting to share in every moment of herself. You can almost smell her perfume. Her body waiting for you, you’re sure, you know, she’s waiting, wanting you badly. You imagine the sweep of the hemline on her dress and she walks down the stairs to greet you. Faster now, you drive, drive, like there’s no time to see her. The snow spreads faster, dusting the road, you lose all thoughts of the yourself. You’re lost in your thoughts, drifting away, drifting in silence towards her. You switch on the radio-you just have to hear the sound of her voice. You want her, you love her, you need her, she haunts you. The radio plays a sad song-it reminds you of her. You picture her smile, the smell of her breath on the back of your neck. It’s late-sometime around midnight. You don’t care, you just have to see her. You punch the radio until it throbs out some long forgotten music. Lost in the memories of her, you still want to see her. In a haze of emotion, you picture her eyes, her bright smile, waiting to see you. The snow swells faster. Snowing like mad now, you drive like there’s no time to waste. You just want to see her. You smell her perfume, the radio pounds louder, the snow is falling, falling heavy. You drive faster and faster wanting to see her, wanting to see the sweep of the hemline on her dress, her eyes twinkle as you walk through that door.

It starts when you lose yourself for only a second or two. Blinded by headlights, the curve comes upon you, your car spinning on the slippery blacktop. The world goes by, rushing like memories of her. You know that she’s waiting, watching, wanting to see you. You’re trapped-out there in the snowstorm. The car broken and shattered, your stomach all tied up in knots. How will you see her? You just have to see her. You know she’s waiting, you can still smell her perfume. Under a streetlamp, you stand, the snow is falling around you, the world spinning with just a vision of herself. You just have to see her. You take out your car keys, you fumble with things on the dash. You find it and hold it and know that it just had to be. The note-a slip of paper with her number, you clench it in your grip like a vice. You shuffle the back of your trunk, finding old things, useless that don’t matter much to you. An old magazine, a dirty towel, a poorly folded map, a box of chocolates, your old tennis shoes, a 9 mil with shells. You just have to see her. You reach for it knowing that it’s alright.

(to be continued…)